His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
