I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
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