dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
