i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
