Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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