I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
