Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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