best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Randomize
