He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I'm just crazy horny about you
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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