my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
