I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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