i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
