who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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