You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
this boner is exhausting
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
