I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
