Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
