sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Randomize
