Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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