What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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