Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
i out mim tonsoeep
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