well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
