Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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