I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
