Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
