it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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