I'm eating all of the evidence.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
