she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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