I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
