One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
