I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
