I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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