I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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