ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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