remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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