well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Randomize
