How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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