Plan B is the new Plan A
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
