My sheets look like a crime scene.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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