Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
