i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
