weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
