This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
