I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
