they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
