Michael Bay diarrhea
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
