mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
