So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
