Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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