I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize