You can't special order awesome
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
ttyl tear gas
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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