Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
