So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
i believe in u and ur pee
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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