i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
