Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
